Can’t wait to see you October 12 in downtown Asheville! Wear your zombie best, or worst. Here are some quick tips to instantly transform you from the regular living to the zombified dead.
First, decide which type of zombie you will be: a fast-running smart zombie, or a slow-moving, low-IQ zombie. Remember both types of zombies crave human flesh. That part is constant.
Moan through your mouth. Channel memories of your last bad head cold and imagine feeling that way for all eternity. That’s the look and emotion we’re going for.
Drool. It’s messy and disgusting. These are both good.
Scream for brains. Brains are wonderfully delicious, and they’re worth going after like a tween who’s just spotted Justin Bieber.
Limp. Drag a leg behind you.
Wear torn or dirty clothing. Zombies do not care for fashion. Some zombies have just clawed their way out of the grave.
Keep your arms outstretched before you and parallel to the ground. It’s a zombie’s version of walking like an Egyptian. Plus, rigor mortis makes it hard to bend at the elbow.
Droop your jaw. Muscle tension slackens when you’re dead, and really, what’s the point of keeping your mouth closed when you’re drooling and screaming for brains, anyway?
Show off those fetid wounds with pride!
Things zombies (usually) do not do
- Smoke cigarettes
- Take photos
- Make jokes and smile
- Make small talk
- Listen to Mp3 players
Infractions of this list will be handled by our army of cannibal zombies. Beware.
Although I’m sure they may be willing to overlook it, just this once.